The Sunday Rumble: December 13, 2016

Welcome to the Sunday Tumble, a weekly spot in my publishing schedule when I can rant, rave, and otherwise opinionate about the world of cinema and popular entertainment. I might not say much that’s intelligent, but this is where you’ll get the raw, unfiltered me.

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Trailer Trash! – War For The Planet Of The Apes

The third of the rebooted Planet Of The Apes films, which began back in 2011 with Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, and continued in 2014’s Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes, arrives in 2017 and sees the return of Caesar (Andy Serkis), an intelligent ape who leads his kind against a violent and belligerent human race. Directed by Matt Reeves (Cloverfield, Let Me In), War also stars Woody Harrelson, Steve Zahn, Judy Greer amd Terry Notary. Check out the trailer after the jump!

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Trailer Trash! – Baywatch

I never once considered Baywatch, once described as “the most watched television show on Earth” before reality television staked its claim, to be a comedy. Well, that’s what the modern big-screen reinvention appears to be, a mix of comedy and action. Starring Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario (and all her daddarios) and a bevvy of beautiful women with big breasts. As misogynistic as that sounds – and it is utterly misogynistic, fo’ sho’! – you can help but watch this trailer for Baywatch with anything other than a huge cheesy grin! I’m not holding out hope it’ll be amazing, and if they don’t cameo The Hoff or Pamela Anderson somewhere I’ll be pissed, but this looks like stupid energetic fun. Check out the trailer after the jump!

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Trailer Trash! – Spider-Man: Homecoming

One of the most anticipated Marvel movies ever (aside from possibly Guardians of The Galaxy 2) for 2017 is undoubtedly Spider-Man: Homecoming, a reboot film starring Tom Holland and Michael Keaton; the character soft-launched in this years Captain America: Civil War and now that Marvel have sorta regained control (creatively, if not entirely financially) they can insert their star character into the MCU proper. Homecoming (which, I might add, is a nice title jab at Sony for having to give up control) will land in cinemas in late June 2017 here in Australia, and early July in the US. Marvel have graciously released not one but two trailers today – a US Domestic and an International Release version! Check them out after the jump!

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Movie Review – Jason Bourne

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Director :  Paul Greengrass
Year Of Release :   2016
Principal Cast :  Matt Damon, Alicia Vikander, Tommy Lee Jones, Vincent Cassel, Julia Styles, Riz Ahmed, Ato Assandoh, Scott Shepherd, Bill Camp, Gregg Henry.
Approx Running Time :   123 Minutes
Synopsis:   The CIA’s most dangerous former operative is drawn out of hiding to uncover more explosive truths about his past.

*******

You could argue that Jason Bourne was a film unneeded. After all, the first three films starring Matt Damon, The Bourne Identity, Supremacy, and Ultimatum respectively, formed a perfect trinity of narrative, conveying the titular amnesiac superspy from his mysterious “origin” off the coast to the final showdown with his “creator”, in New York City. As far as trilogies go, Bourne’s first three outings are pretty much perfect. Sullied, the franchise was, by The Bourne Legacy, a cast-off fanfic film trying to shoehorn poor Jeremy Renner into the frame as another Bourne-esque assassin also seeking escape, a wholly unrequired film that still managed to perform well at the box-office. Now, years later, Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon re-team to enter the fray once more, in Jason Bourne, and it remains to be seen whether it was a good idea to come back or not.

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Movie Review – Alice Through The Looking Glass

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Director :  James Bobin
Year Of Release :   2016
Principal Cast :  Mia Wasikowska, Sacha Baron Cohen, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, Rhys Ifans, Matt Lucas, Lindsay Duncan, Andrew Scott, Simone Kirby, Richard Armitage, Hattie Morahan, Leo Bill, Voices of Alan Rickman, Stephen Fry, Michael Sheen, Timothy Spall, Barbara Windsor, Matt Vogel, Paul Whitehouse.
Approx Running Time :   113 Minutes
Synopsis:  Alice returns to the whimsical world of Wonderland and travels back in time to help the Mad Hatter.

******

James Bobin’s highly visual sequel to Tim Burton’s 2010 billion-dollar blockbuster, Alice Through The Looking Glass represents yet another dazzling cinematic extravagance foisted upon us in the quest to drag more cash from audience’s pockets. Alice In Wonderland’s empty visual splendour is once again mined for what becomes a headache-inducing voyage back into Underland, as Alice (Mia Wasikowska) tries to bring back the ailing Mad Hatter’s family to make him well again. Ostensibly a project created just to keep CG artists employed in a room somewhere, Looking Glass‘ story feels spread to thin for its own good, as Bobin seems incapable of giving the film a shred of emotional resonance.

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Standing Up For The Force Awakens – Apparently Clickbait Has Become The New Film Criticism

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This week, film website Flickering Myth published an article by Anghus Houvouras entitled “Can We All Just Admit Star Wars: The Force Awakens Was Kinda Terrible?” and, reading it several times, can we all just admit that that article was all kinds of terrible? It’s the kind of clickbait headline sensationalism designed to grab views and provide a “heated” discussion about the flaws and successes of JJ Abrams reboot of the Star Wars universe post-Lucas. In it, Mr Houvouras claims Awakens to be a “passionless, unoriginal mess” and while I’m usually loathe to dissect another person’s views about a cultural behemoth such as Star Wars, the article angered me so much due largely to faulty, facetious reasoning, in what appears at first blush to be some kind of against the grain hatred of anything that succeeds.

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Trailer Trash! – Transformers: The Last Knight

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Pyrotechnic director Michael Bay completed principal photography only yesterday, and announced then that the first trailer for the fifth Transformers movie, The Last Knight, would drop 24 hours later. True to his word, the trailer is here, complete with all the Bayisms we’ve come to expect, including slo-motion explosions, solemn narration (by Anthony Hopkins) and yet more explosions. While there’s little hope for this film being anything but mind-numbing garbage, at least it’s pretty to look at and will rake in the billions of dollars its predecessors did. Check out the trailer after the jump!

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Trailer Trash! – The Mummy (2017) Trailer 1

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Okay, so recent memory will have you reminiscing about the good ol’ days with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz chasing over the Egyptian desert trying to outwit Arnold Vosloo’s eponymous Mummy, in the post-millennial films that rebooted the classic Universal monster. Now, in typical Hollywood fashion, we’re getting another reboot, only this time it’s the start of the Horror Icon franchise Universal mooted some time ago – remember Dracula Untold? Yikes! Yes, Tom Cruise stars in his next franchise film, The Mummy, that sets in motion an ongoing release of movies to star the Universal stable of monsters, such as Frankenstein’s Monster, the Wolfman, the Invisible Man… etc etc. My guess is, this is another film in which Cruise will get to show off his running skills. Check out the trailer after the jump!

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