Fernby Films

Worst Film Week – Worst Film Titles (A Short List)

WORST FILM TITLES

Whether it’s a great film or not, sometimes you have to wonder at the reasoning behind some of history’s worst film titles. We thought we’d put together a list of some of those that jumped out at us (from a very long list) as being the stupidest, most inane titles you’d ever use. Some film titles have no meaning whatsoever, some are just unpronouncable, some just plain stupid. In this list, some of the films are actually quite good, it’s just they’ve been saddled with some of the most awful cinematic titling ever bestowed upon the film artform.

Here’s our list of some of the worst titles for a film, ever! Imagine, you turn up to the cinema and have to tell the ticket office guy the name of the film you want to see. Could you look him in the eye and say any of the following?

  1. Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Humpee and Find True Happiness?
  2. Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines or How I Flew From London To Paris in 25 Hours 11 minutes.
  3. Freddie Got Fingered
  4. Too Wong Fu: Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar
  5. Chumscrubber
  6. Chu Chu And The Philly Flash
  7. The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood
  8. Monsturd
  9. Rat Pfink a Boo Boo
  10. Santa Claus Conquers The Martians
  11. Smilla’s Sense of Snow
  12. The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain
  13. Jesse James Meets Frankensteins Daughter
  14. Ballistic: Ecks vs Server

We’d also like to make special mention of all those films that have non-specific, generic titles. We think the following titles should never be titles; they’re simply segments of a conversation, people! They do not describe a film, nor do they invite you to watch it based on the title alone. At least “Vampire Killers From Saturn” would be descriptive, if not derivative. Anyway, these are some examples:

  • Get Over It
  • Step Up
  • Make A Stand
  • She’s All That
  • Are We There Yet?
  • Bring It On

Please feel free to add your own in the comments box!!! Simply click on “comments” below, and start typing!

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5 Comments

  1. Emma September 23, 2008

    Well, now that you mention it… I came across this gem when I was procrastinating on Wikipedia looking at the entry for Cult Films:

    The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies.

    Film Titles is srs bznus, as the cats would say. Oh, and hi – I finally got around to commenting on your blog 🙂

  2. Rick Popko September 23, 2008

    Hey, Rodney! Thanks for including our movie "Monsturd!" on your worst movie titles list. If you hate that one, you ought to get a load of its sequel, "RetarDEAD." Currently available on Amazon.com and Filmbaby.com

    -Rick

    (co-writer/director/producer of Monsturd and RetarDEAD)

  3. Rodney Twelftree September 23, 2008

    hey Rick,

    Thanks for your comment! I wouldn't say I hate the title Monsturd, but it's not a title that would make you want to watch the film in a hurry. And I guess now I am obligated to watch RetarDEAD before making more comments!! Thanks!

    🙂

  4. Rodney Twelftree September 23, 2008

    Thanks to Mike Physick for the following comment, emailed direct to me:

    Hi Rodney,

    I'd have to nominate a very bizzare cult classic:

    Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094834/

    Bizzare name and cast, but strangely compelling!

    M

  5. Wozza September 24, 2008

    wow, all this talk of Monsturd along with our special guest, I am tempted to actually watch it. Does anybody have a copy?

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