Over the last few years, we’ve included a bunch of dreadful movie posters during our Worst Film Week event, which has become quite successful. So, once again, we present a whole slew of posters that we’ve found to be truly dreadful. There’s a mix of recent and old stuff here, dredged up from all across the Web, some A-list and Z-list films and a bunch of in-between. Once again, you’ve been warned about the true awfulness of what you’re about to see, so don’t complain if you’re upset by something here!! We warned you!
This poster for a really good film (apparently) looks like a kindergarten project. The minimalist cartoon style does nothing for the causal movie-goer, and screams "arthouse" everywhere you look. What do you do if a big budget film like Wanted rips off your poster. Nothing. Nothing at all, except hope like hell a bunch if internet nerds will figure out how lazy the promo guys for Wanted actually were!! Nothing says victory like a set of three-armed conjoined triplets. I like Peter O'Toole, I really do. But this poster makes him look like he just shat out his false teeth. No classy actor should ever have to put up with this rubbish. Eww. Wrong on so many levels, not the least is the inclusion of Paris Hilton. This is the kind of film they show to people in shock therapy to snap them from a coma. bizarre lighting angles, a look of creepy concern on Uma Therman's face, and the most idiotic photoshopping of arms into frame ever devised. There is almost no excuse for this. Jason Bateman's artsy pose, the "clever" titles of all those stacked books, and a general laziness makes this poster utterly ridiculous. Creepy. Which was probably what they were going for. Guess who's coming to college? Who cares? Nobody. A foregin one-sheet for, yep, Tootsie. As imagined by Kurt Cobain. Not quite sure how this poster reflects the dark, melancholy nature of the Terminator films... but then, that's what happens when things get lost in translation. Now this is just silly. This is obviously a poster for some ghetto somewhere... y'all. The Russian poster for Shallow Hal. With Jack Black looking like a pre-op transgender with bad jowls. Check out where the posters text is, and what it's alluding to. This fabuloously action-packed poster really draws attention to Will and Marky Marks groins. This is the kind of poster they whip up in a last minute promo meeting. There's no way any of these actors were in the same room together for any of these photos, and it shows. Confusing and dull. The poses these guys are in defy description. Try one of them yourself and find out how unnatural they actually are... The simple fact that this a film starring Lindsay Lohan is enough to get this atrocious poster on the list. ...um..... Disturbing on so many levels. We're not sure, but this could be a film featuring the first mainstream bestiality scene. Take 1 internet Demotivational image, expand and call this your film poster. Classy. Not. Yeeeaaaaahhhh, this is the kind of film we'd like to see more of. What on Earth does this poster have in common with decent folks is beyond me. Is that a question or a statement? Minimailist can be okay, but this isn't. The original cheezy poster for Equalizer 2000. All class (yeah) and manly action. Here's a dreadful poster for the same film, Equalizer 2000. Steady, no, you're drink hasn't been spiked. Yup, I know what I want. A crazy vein-knecked man screaming at me, and a bizarre henna-inked chick with a hatchet. Yep, I'm getting a ticket. I don't even want to know what is happening in this poster. Gives me the heebie jeebies. This poster's composition is so awful, I can't tell if John C Reilly is pooping out his career, or Jonah Hill is about to eat that woman... Is Tim Allen stopping this film from being seen, or is he hoping none of the cast get better billing than him? Either way, this screams photoshop abuse!!! A post-orgasmic Scrooge holding a very phallic object hurtling through the night sky. Genuis. That'll get the kiddies in. From the pencil art to the stupid concept, this screams mediocrity. Thankfully, your dreams were fulfilled and this film bombed big-time at the box office. Answer this one simple question. What is Nic Cage's left arm doing? Is B.A. squeezing out a fart in this poster? For a poster about "art school" stuff, this poster looks like it was created by somebody with no idea of art at all. Or an art school drop-out. What is Sandra Bullock doing? Probably screaming at her stupid cheating husband, that's what. Those guys don't look impressed. Staay away from the screaming lady, okay! The Star trek dudes look like they've arrived via Rainbow Transport for this atrocious poster for Star Trek IV... Bad on almost every level. Yes, that's Barbara Streisand strapped to a giant baby bottle. Imagine the possibilities, and you too could go clinically insane. Nice picture, except they've included Jack Nicholson as a giant sun in the poster. Why? Why not, I guess. That's it, a baby and allusions of vampirism. Charming. I bet the Beatles sued after witnessing this cinematic travesty. Possibly the best tag-line for a film we've ever seen. Shake your head in disbelief here. Can you imagine the pitch to the studio that green-lit this shit? "Look Mummy, a giant vagina with teeth!" In case people don't get the subtle hint of underage sex, let's explain the entire plot of the film on the poster. That way people don't have to come and see this rubbish! Explain from this DVD cover exactly what the film is about? A bunch of faces and a creepy Jeff Goldblum lookalike staring at us makes this a creepy, nonsense poster. If you told me that this film would go on to be a blockbuster classic, and all I had to go on was this poster, I'd have laughed you all the way to the looney bin. Unfortunately, there were MORE than one. If he has an instinct to kill, why is he carrying a baby? I hope Roger Ebert's talking about the movie. Before Step Up 3D, there was Body Rock. Cool! Who wrote this? Continue Reading