**Breaking News** Ultra conservative Academy axes Borat from Oscars!!!

In another last-minute decision from the obviously ultra-conservative (and somewhat timid) Academy of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences, they’ve given Sacha Baron Cohen the flick from this weekends Oscar ceremony. The Borat/Bruno actor, who created a storm at last year’s MTV awards when he was lowered ass-first onto the face of Eminem from the roof, was to have performed a skit dressed as one of the characters from James Cameron’s Avatar.

You mean I can't go to the Oscars??? Damn you Academy!!!!!

However, nervous executives have decided not to allow Cohen to use the massive global audience to embarrass either Cameron, the Oscars, or himself. Rather than take the risk on giving the enormous global audience a good belly laugh at those uptight Hollywood folks, they came to the decision to play it safe and simply ban the actor from the ceremony. Apparently, the Academy didn’t want to upset Cameron in any way (which, considering his Hollywood clout, would perhaps not be the best thing).

Sounds like a lot of folks can’t take a joke. Looks like I might just be sleeping through the Oscars this year!

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