Today we welcome special guest reviewer Robert Nowotny to fernbyfilms.com, a fellow film connoisseur and purveyor of his own opinions across at Friend Site, Need To Vent. Robert gladly accepted my challenge to write something about the films he hated, and I was most impressed when he came up with three! One of these choices is destined to be highly controversial, I’ll admit, but that’s what we’re here for, to debate the merits of film. Before I let Robert vent his spleen about cinematic travesties, I’d like to thank him for his contribution here, and point you towards his website should you feel the desire to read more of his work.
And so, without further ado, here’s Roberts thoughts on Jumanji, United 93, and Talladega Nights.
– Summary –
Director : Joe Johnson
Year Of Release : 1995
Principal Cast : Robin Williams, Bonnie Hunt, Kirsten Dunst, Bradley Pierce, David Alan Grier, Jonathan Hyde, Bebe Neuwirth, Adam Hann-Byrd, Laura Bell Bundy, Malcolm Stewart, Annabel Kershaw, Patricia Clarkson.
Approx Running Time : 104 Minutes
Synopsis: A young boy opens up a world of adventure when an enchanted board-game suddenly whisks them into a world where the jungle comes alive!
– Summary –
Director : Paul Greengrass
Year Of Release : 2006
Principal Cast : Khalid Abdalla, Christian Clemenson, Cheyenne Jackson, JJ Johnson, Sarmed al-Samarri, David Alan Basche, Omar Bedouni, Jamie Harding, Gary Commock, Olivia Thirlby.
Approx Running Time : 110 Minutes
Synopsis: An account of the bravery of the passengers of United Flight 93, hijacked above American soil on 9/11.
It is almost a full twenty-four hours since I left the Marketplace Theatre in New Braunfels after seeing United 93.
I am still shaking.
Yes, I continue to shake uncontrollably from this intense experience—but the cause is not for any of the reasons you might logically assume.
To begin with, my trembling has nothing to do with the inherent nature of the story. When it comes to a deeply visceral screening experience you can find about as much emotional intensity in an old Sky King rerun.
Nor is my malady a result of witnessing once again just how inept and incompetent the US military, the FAA and this nation’s government was on 9/11. For example, hours pass by and, ultimately, a grand total of four jet fighters are scrambled. Yes—only four jets can even get into the air—and two of these were unarmed. You’ll normally find that many zipping past at the opening ceremonies of a NASCAR event each weekend. It’s enough to make the average person quiver like an aspen leaf; but this is old news and it isn’t the cause of my current woes either.
Finally, let me reassure you that my spasms are not a debilitating reaction to observing every passenger’s cell phone working perfectly and without interruption as their Boeing 757 rockets along at over 550 miles per hour, across several states and at altitudes ranging from 33,000′ down to 3,000′ and less. This technological accomplishment is singularly unfathomable to me, but I have elected not to dwell on my personal cell phone experiences and so the cause of my present condition lies elsewhere.
You see, the real reason for my ongoing involuntary twitching lies solely with Director of Photography Barry Ackroyd’s unrestrained cinema verite style of filming that has the camera shaking more violently than Nancy Pelosi’s vibrator. Not even fans of The Blair Witch Project could possibly appreciate the excessive jerkiness, in-your-face-but-out-of-focus cinematography found not only in the not-so-friendly skies, but also on the ground, in the terminal, even in the NORAD bunker. Ninety plus minutes of wide screen, uninterrupted visual chaos will leave you shaking, too.
I find it fitting that Cinematographer Ackroyd’s next project will be an Irish/UK co-production titled The Wind That Shakes The Barley. What do you want to bet he wears a self-winding watch?
– Summary –
Director : Adam McKay
Year Of Release : 2006
Principal Cast : Will Ferrell, John C Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen, Michael Clarke Duncan, Leslie Bibb, Gary Cole, Jane Lynch, Amy Adams, Andy Richter, David Koechner, Ian Roberts, Jack McBrayer, Pat Hingle, Greg Germann, Molly Shannon, Ted Manson, Rob Riggle.
Approx Running Time : 108 Minutes
Synopsis: Ricky Bobby is a race-car driver who wants to go fast. Amidst the turmoil of his personal life, his sponsor troubles and his kids, he suddenly finds a new driver on the circuit who threatens to put him out to pasture.
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