{"id":22493,"date":"2012-09-20T12:01:18","date_gmt":"2012-09-20T02:31:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/?p=22493"},"modified":"2012-09-25T09:15:08","modified_gmt":"2012-09-24T23:45:08","slug":"worst-film-week-movie-review-funky-monkey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/2012\/09\/20\/worst-film-week-movie-review-funky-monkey\/","title":{"rendered":"Movie Review – Funky Monkey"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/h2>\n
\n

– Summary –<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Director :<\/strong>\u00a0 Harry Basil
\nYear Of Release :<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 2004
\nPrincipal Cast :<\/strong>\u00a0 Matthew Modine, Roma Downey, Seth Adkins, Gilbert Gottfried, Jeffrey Tambor, Bodhi Elfman, Taylor Negron.
\nApprox Running Time :<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 94 Minutes
\nSynopsis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Not even the Wikipedia synopsis makes any sense.
\nWhat we think :<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 St Pauly’s review, blow-by-blow, is the clearest indication yet that Hollywood still seems to think Matthew Modine is…. an actor.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

**********************<\/p>\n

Warning: You Will Want to Spank This Monkey<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Spoiler Alert:<\/h2>\n

I have spent an inordinate amount of time with this Monkey and will be analyzing the intimate bits I have seen and scenes I am still ashamed to admit I watched. Read on only if you have already met the Monkey or don\u2019t plan to.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

As Sir Rodney honored both my altar-egoist Al K Hall and myself with invitations to contribute to his Worst Film Week, he and I have decided to make a sport of it. \u00a0We shall submit\u00a0competing\u00a0reviews of The Worst Movie Of All Time, each in our own, inimitable styles, and ask his good readers to decide which of us is right.<\/p>\n

Before I go any further, yes, Funky Monkey<\/em> is a children\u2019s movie. This, however, doesn\u2019t mean the acting need be childish, nor the directing juvenile, nor the script sophomoric. Forcing a tot to sit through an entire viewing of this immature production is akin to child abuse. Children deserve quality entertainment just as much as adults, more so, even. Force feeding our future fast film fare will merely skew their tastes, and ruin their appetite for cinema later.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Matthew Modine Getting Tips From The Director<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

0:02:29 Matthew Modine\u2026 Imagine how ashamed he must be about this movie. Hell, even the monkey was so embarrassed he had to run away from this circus and join American politics.<\/p>\n

0:03:10 The only people too thick to realize that \u2018man\u2019 was a monkey in a spy suit are those stupid enough to pay money to see this shite. Wait! Maybe this movie was made for those stupid enough to spend money on it!<\/p>\n

0:06:34 Alex McCall (Matthew Modine) spends months training a monkey to do international spy missions, yet when the training is over, he asks the top secret organization what they plan to do with the monkey. Does he not see they intend to torture us by making us watch this?<\/p>\n

\"\"
Robert Pattinson Catches Kristen Stewart With Rupert Sanders<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

0:14:22 \u201cSpeaking of hairy and grunting things\u2026\u201d That may very well be the best line of the entire film.<\/p>\n

0:19:57 The monkey laughs at the jokes. And here I thought it was supposed to be super intelligent\u2026<\/p>\n

0:22:32 A guy getting kicked in the testicles by a monkey. Good one. This film is the inspiration behind the concept \u201cStraight to DVD\u201d.<\/p>\n

0:25:19 Why have I never seen any of the actors in this movie in any other movies? The answer is in the question.<\/p>\n

\"\"
What it’s like to watch Funky Monkey<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

0:27:37 \u201cNo more monkeying around.\u201d I\u2019ve got to give them credit. They held off on this joke for half an hour and I made the \u201cSpank the Monkey\u201d joke right in the first caption.<\/p>\n

0:30:04 A chav on a skateboard steals a woman\u2019s bag and rides away. In the meantime, the monkey honks the horn of his truck, waits for Alex to come, Alex has to run over from the terrace he\u2019s sitting at and when he finally arrives, the chimp points towards the direction of the incident and the skateboarder is still in the exact same place, still making his getaway. WTF!? No child is stupid enough for this movie.<\/p>\n

0:42:10 The pretty high school cheerleader (Kaleigh Krish as Christina) kisses his monkey on the head just after meeting him. That\u2019s love, that is. \u201cIf you really loved me, you\u2019d kiss my monkey\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"
Give me all your monkey!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

0:43:32 The motorcycle gang attacks 11-year-old Michael (Seth Adkins) in a park during daytime. There\u2019s one gang that doesn\u2019t care about its reputation. #Hecks _Angels.<\/p>\n

\u201cGive me all your monkey!\u201d<\/p>\n

0:48:51 A montage. A bloody. Simian. Montage.<\/p>\n

0:58:46 OK, this is getting insulting. Halloween costumes that consist simply of ugly hats? They\u2019ve just stopped trying here.<\/p>\n

\"\"
\u201cFoul! Foul! Extremely Foul!\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

1:01:16 The mother (Roma Downey) managing the Haunted House is watching 3 Asian men attack her son in the middle of the attraction and she just stands there? WTF!?<\/p>\n

1:05:53 \u201cInstead of having these animals walking two by two, we\u2019ll have them walking to war.\u201d That is a direct quote. Honestly, how does the writer not wake up in the middle of the night screaming from the nightmare of having put that line on paper?<\/p>\n

1:09:30 Gilbert Gottfried? From bad to weirder. I guess a monkey is just one more thing he\u2019d do for a buck.<\/p>\n

\"\"
I told you not to get involved in that monkey business…<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

1:13:29 Look, it\u2019s a cameo by that orangutan from Every Which Way But Loose<\/em>.<\/p>\n

1:17:08 Where was the mother while her child was kidnapped and being kept in a cage by Evil Agents? At a high school football match, watching other young boys, not caring her son wasn\u2019t there. I\u2019m thinking the movie may be about monkeys but the mother is a cougar.<\/p>\n

1:20:12 Grown men wearing American football uniforms go on the pitch and no one, not the coaches, not the parents in the stands, not the kids on the field, no one, stops them.<\/p>\n

1:22:53 Now the monkey and the men who want to capture him are all on the field, but instead of fighting to capture the chimp (which, may I remind you, is the entire storyline of the film), everyone continues playing the game.<\/p>\n

1:25:49 \u201cStop that monkey boy!\u201d Quotes like that are what make this movie bearable. OK, almost bearable. Well, let\u2019s just say I\u2019ve put the gun down and am pulling my head out from the oven.<\/p>\n

\"\"
\u201cGood Lord! When did the chimp learn how to write?\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Funky Monkey is a children\u2019s movie. This, however, doesn\u2019t mean the acting need be childish, nor the directing juvenile, nor the script sophomoric. Forcing a tot to sit through an entire viewing of this immature production is akin to child abuse.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1614,"featured_media":22499,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[332,18,246],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2012-worst-film-week","category-movie-review","category-worst-film-weeks"],"featured_image_urls":{"full":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01.jpg",604,441,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01-500x280.jpg",500,280,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01-604x365.jpg",604,365,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01.jpg",604,441,false],"large":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01.jpg",604,441,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01.jpg",604,441,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01.jpg",604,441,false],"covernews-featured":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01.jpg",604,441,false],"covernews-medium":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01.jpg",466,340,false],"profile_24":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01-24x24.jpg",24,24,true],"profile_48":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01-48x48.jpg",48,48,true],"profile_96":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01-96x96.jpg",96,96,true],"profile_150":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"profile_300":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01-300x300.jpg",300,300,true],"sow-carousel-default":["https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/funky-monkey-01-272x182.jpg",272,182,true]},"author_info":{"display_name":"Saint Pauly","author_link":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/author\/saintpauly\/"},"category_info":"2012 Worst Film Week<\/a> Movie Review<\/a> Worst Film Weeks<\/a>","tag_info":"Worst Film Weeks","comment_count":"4","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22493","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1614"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22493"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22493\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22499"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fernbyfilms.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}