Can I admit that this Top Ten List wasn’t my idea? Al K Hall, over at The Bar None, gave me the idea to do a list of Top Ten Films They’ll Play In Hell after I posted a comment listing Saw VI as a film that might fit the bill – his review on it can be read here. That said, I had a little think about the idea, and decided it could possibly be done quite easily – the biggest of the crappiest films that would annoy people the most. You see, Hell isn’t a nice place to be. Apparently. According to religious iconography and theology, Hell is a place of eternal damnation, a place where people are tormented and tortured for eternity (quite the punishment for 80 or so years of life up here, right?), often with things that are important to them. Music lovers in hell could be consigned to listening to the complete works of The Firm or even Rick Astley, over and over again. TV fans would be made to watch endless repeats of Survivor, but only showing each episode in reverse order. So the question was asked: what are the top ten films they’d show in Hell to torment the evil film fan? It’s an interesting one, to be sure. Do you throw in a few bad sequels, most of which would be eminently worthy of inclusion, to pad the list out? Sure, there have been bad films down the years, but I think the ones in the list below indicate a special level of torment for which there can only be one result. Films they show in Hell. Cue BWAA HAAA HAAA here!
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So I got this email from Dan over at Top 10 Films, asking if I’d like to be involved in a Blog-a-thon he was organizing. It was based on the concept of Houdini’s Magic Ticket, which was a central plot conceit in the Arnold Schwarzenegger film The Last Action Hero: the question is this – if you could go into any film you wanted, and/or be any character you wanted, which would it be? Simple enough, you ask, but the problem is that there’s almost too much choice to make a single decision on. How many thousands of films, hundreds of thousands of characters, in all the films released worldwide in a given year, have the potential to be a film you’d enjoy spending time in? You could co-pilot the Millennium Falcon with Han Solo, fighting the TIE fighters in Star Wars. Or you could join Brad Pitt’s Basterds for a tilt at knocking off Hitler. Maybe you wouldn’t mind spending a bit of time traipsing through Austria with Maria and those annoyingly cheery von Trapp children. Or, if you’re a slightly less straightforward person, you might enjoy spending some time in a Tim Burton film, perhaps, or maybe – God forbid – inside a David Lynch flick. The possibilities are, indeed, endless.
Wanna know what film we’d choose to go into? Click here to find out more!!
As I announced at the start of the year, yours truly has been selected as a member of the Grand Jury on this year’s Beneath The Earth Film Festival, and have spent the day watching and reflecting on the newly uploaded selection of films to judge on. As a judge, I rate each film on a selection of criteria, including story, editing, acting, soundtrack and the like. Voting for the public is also open via Facebook, so do these amateur filmmakers a favor and check out some of their material.
The winner of the Festival will be reviewed by all members of the panel, and receives a $1000 first prize. Expect to see my review of the winning entry here in due course.
So go over to the main website and watch some amazing, beautiful, hilarious films made by budding, up-and-coming directors of the future.
[My personal favourites are 2 Ambassadors, Chase In Prose, and It's Natural To Be Afraid... check 'em out!]
Rodney T – EIC, www.fernbyfilms.com + Grand Jury Member, 2011 BTEFF.
George Baker - 1931-2011
British actor George Baker has passed away.
Baker was best known for his television role in The Ruth Rendell Mysteries, as Inspector Wexford. He also appeared in numerous films, including I Claudius, The Dam Busters, The Moonraker, Goodbye Mr Chips, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, The Spy Who Loved Me, You Only Live Twice, Out Of Order and Back To The Secret Garden, to name only a few. His television appearances outside of Wexford included Minder, The Goodies, Coronation Street, and even a Tom Baker-era Doctor Who serial.
Mr Baker passed away on October 7th. He was 80.
Diane Cilento (with Sean Connery) - 1933-2011
Acclaimed Australian actress Diane Cilento has passed away.
Ms Cilento appeared in a number of stage and screen appearances over her career, including an Oscar nominated performance opposite Albert Finney and Susannah York in Tom Jones (1963). Cilento was also nominated for a Tony Award for a role she played in the stage show Tiger At The Gates. Among her many film appearances, she can be spotted in the original 1952 version of Moulin Rouge, The Passionate Stranger, The Naked Edge, The Agony And The Ecstacy (with Charlton Heston), Hombre (with Paul Newman), The Wicker Man (1973) and The Boy Who Had Everything. Between 1962 and 1973, Cilento was married to James Bond actor Sean Connery, appearing as a stand-in for his You Only Live Twice co-star Mie Hama during a diving sequence.
Ms Cilento passed away from a log battle with cancer, on October 6th, aged 78.
Charles Napier - 1936-2011
Hollywood film and television star Charles Napier has passed away. Napier appeared in a string of television series’, from the live action format (Knight Rider, The A Team, Dukes Of Hazzard) and to voicing roles in the animated format (The Superman Adventures), as well as a vast number of bit-roles in film. He’s best remembered as the leader of the Good Ol’ Boys in the original Blues Brothers film, as well as opposite Sly Stallone in Rambo: First Blood Part II, Silence of the Lambs, The Cable Guy (with Jim Carrey), Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (and the sequel, The Spy Who Shagged Me), Philadelphia (with Denzel Washington), Steel (with former NBL star Shaquille O’Neill), the remake of The Manchurian Candidate, and among his last films, Annapolis, in 2006.
Mr Napier passed away on October 5th, aged 75.
Frances Bay - 1919-2011
Just wanted to quickly pay tribute this afternoon to the recent passing of film and television actress Frances Bay.
Ms Bay was best known to cinema audiences as the elderly grandmother of Adam Sandler’s character in his ’96 film Happy Gilmore, as well as television episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, The Middle, and Seinfeld, among others. Ms Bay’s first film was a bit-part in the Goldie Hawn thriller Foul Play, and went on to appear in a number of David Lynch films (Blue Velvet and Wild At Heart), as well as an appearance in Clive Barker’s horror flick In The Mouth of Madness. Her television work also included appearances in Happy Days, Charmed and Twin Peaks.
Frances Bay passed away on September 15th, aged 92.
Cliff Robertson - 1923-2011
Academy Award winning actor Cliff Robertson has passed away. Robertson’s name may not sound familiar to most, but his face is instantly recognizable to fans of the Sam Raimi-directed Spider-Man films, playing Peter Parker’s beloved (and ill-fated) Uncle Ben. Mr Robertson received his Oscar for his performance as the titular Charly, in the 1968 film of the same name, based on the classic story Flowers For Algernon, about a mentally disabled man who, through science, becomes exceptionally intelligent, before regressing once more into retardation.
Among Mr Robertson’s first roles was his portrayal of a young John F Kennedy Jr, in the film PT109, as well as parts in films as diverse as Gidget, Underworld USA, and Three Days Of The Condor. Mr Robertson passed away on September 10, in New York State, aged 88.
John Wood - 1930-2011
Stephen Falken is dead. Acclaimed British actor John Wood, who 80′s nerds might remember as the computer genius Stephen Falken, in the Matthew Broderick sci-fi classic War Games, has passed away.
Wood appeared in numerous Shakespeare productions on stage and screen (his most prominent film role in this regard was with Ian McKellan in Richard III, in 1995), including a large amount of television work. Among his film appearances were roles in Ladyhawke (again, opposite Matthew Broderick), Jumpin’ Jack Flash (with Whoopi Goldberg), Shadowlands (with Anthony Hopkins and Debra Winger), The Madness Of King George (a superb period film starring Nigel Hawthorne, Helen Mirren and Ian Holm, and a film I can’t recommend highly enough!), The Avengers (yes, the one with Ralph and Uma), Chocolat, and one of the last Merchant/Ivory films, The White Countess (again with Ralph Feinnes).
For the passing of the man who gave us near-nuclear holocaust at the hands of a game of tic-tac-toe, we salute John Wood today. Mr Wood passed away on August 6, aged 81.
