/Trailer Trash! – Transformers: The Last Knight (Final trailer, hopefully)

Trailer Trash! – Transformers: The Last Knight (Final trailer, hopefully)

The incomprehensible garbage train that is Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise has delivered to us an even less coherent trailer than what’s come before. Witness the great Anthony Hopkins slumming it as Captain Exposition! Watch Mark Wahlberg continue to look utterly befuddled by all that transpires! Glare at a sextet of children forced slave-labour style to endure Bay’s sense of “whimsy”! Astound to the use of pyrotechnics used to fill the entire film with ephemeral jetsam reminiscent of the Normandy beach landing! The Last Knight lands into cinemas soon, will make a shit-ton of money, and prompt Bay to un-retire from helming this trash and make more of them.

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Normally detesting these kinds of bios, Rodney's keen love of film more often outclasses his ability to write convincingly about them. Never blessed with a body worthy of a porn star, nor being the heir to a wealthy industrialists fortune, nor suffering the tragedy of having his parents murdered outside a Gotham theater, Rodney is, contrary to popular opinion, neither Ron Jeremy, JD Rockefeller, or Batman. As a serious appreciator of film since 1996, Rodney's love affair with the medium has continued with his online blog, Fernby Films, a facility allowing him to communicate with fellow cineasts in their mutual love of all things movie.